Water Safari Zambia

The Zambezi Queen and Royal Chundu are two stunning water-based escapes

Words and photographs Tess Paterson

“You know ladies,” says the gently spoken man from KwaZulu-Natal who’s here to celebrate his birthday, “you sound like a flock of rowdy inhlekabafazis.” Of course we take this as a compliment because we do sound like a mad twitter of red-billed wood hoopoes. Put five women journos together on a boat at sunset and you will not have peace and quiet. But you’ll probably put the world to rights.

Zambezi Queen cruise Mokoro detail Zambezi Queen deck Zambian lady Elephants along the Chobe

We’re on the viewing deck of the Zambezi Queen, a luxurious floating hotel that’s ambling down the Chobe River. Theresa, a serial hummer,  begins the chorus to Mississippi, the 70s hit by Dutch group Pussycat. Not to be outdone, Karin adds her version of Abba’s Dancing Queen. And then silence descends, because it dawns on us that we’re overlooking a sizable herd of elephants – from three stories above the water. A fish eagle lets out a haunting shriek; crocs doze languidly on the river bank. It’s sheer heaven.

It feels like a giant stage-hand is slowly shifting the pastoral scenery

The 14-suite dream boat has Captain Patrick Muhamubi at the helm. His office is a pristine stretch of river overlooking Botswana’s Chobe National Park. Right away he tells us that the best thing about this job is living so close to nature. “Sometimes we see lions on the river bank; daily we see elephants, crocodiles, hippos and buffaloes.” Perched on a lounger, G&T in hand, we’re quietly transfixed by this elevated version of a game drive. The day is postcard perfect, and as we meander downstream it feels like a giant stage-hand is slowly shifting the pastoral scenery.

With its king-size beds and solar-heated showers (complete with bio-degradable soap and shampoo) the glass-fronted suites have nothing but a flimsy mozzie screen between you and Deepest Darkest. There’s something truly magical about falling asleep to the Niurrgh! nuh nuh nuh of a pod of hippos, and they huff and splash just metres from your balcony.

A few kilometres away is that intriguing point on the river where Zimbabwe, Zambia, Botswana and Namibia all connect. We’d arrived here via a ferry from Zambia’s Kazangula border which deposited us at Kasane in Botswana. From there a motor boat whipped us off to the tiny immigration office on Impilila Island in Namibia, even though you’re on the same bit of river. At this point I’ll admit I became seriously confused about our whereabouts and remained in this blissful state for the rest of the trip.

Tender boat Chobe River Chobe Game Reserve View from the cabin at dawn

At four pm we’re summonsed to a sunset cruise on the two tender boats – the best way to explore the river up close. In that pearlescent dusk light we head down towards one of the local villages where earlier two of our party had hired a mokoro for the afternoon. We pick them up, pour a glass of chilled Sauvignon blanc and savour the sheer privilege of a safari from the water. Our boatman Elvis expertly navigates past more hippos and crocs; red lechwe graze peacefully on the bank. We’re stunned to stillness by the setting.

Chobe National Park boasts an astonishing 450 bird species

While I’m tempted to hang out on the deck doing sporadic Kate Winslet impersonations, the next day there’s a trip into Chobe on the cards. Although just a taster, we see a good thirty or so of the reserve’s 120 000 elephant; savour glimpses of the switchback river through the still-dry veld. This area boasts an astonishing 450 bird species, from green-backed herons and malachite kingfishers to my eternal favourite, the carmine bee-eaters – surely one of the most exquisite critters on the planet.

After two days on this floating idyll, it’s sadly time to move on. A camping trip this isn’t and we’re heading for Royal Chundu. An extraordinarily peaceful spot, it’s tucked away on the northern bank of the Zambezi with its own 15 km stretch of private waterway. This is Zambia’s only Relais & Châteaux property, and from the minute we clap eyes on the pool deck with the Matetsi Reserve just across the water, I vow to return for a longer stay.

River rafting, Royal Chundu Royal Chundu pool Fishing nets, Royal Chundu Children from Mashukwa village Zambezi transport

First up is an afternoon’s river rafting and a crowd of local children emerges from the water to wave us on – five gals, heads be-turbaned in sarongs like Katherine Hepburn. It begins sedately enough – Theresa even manages a few bars from Mississippi, and then our guide suggests that we might want to stow our cameras in the waterproof cases. Next thing it’s like being in a washing machine – there’s water crashing over the bow, we’re soaked, and it’s completely exhilarating.

There’s a kelim on the ground and a table piled with all manner of delicious contraband

When the water abates we dock at one of the islands. I kid you not, there’s a kelim on the ground, a hammock in a tree and a table piled with all manner of contraband like mini burgers, chocolate eclairs and Pimm’s. As one colleague puts it, “I’m happy as Larium.”

After a light doze back at River Lodge, we join a sunset cruise on the Zambezi. No words for that pastelly glow – the mighty river is at its most beautiful. Later that night it’s dinner in the boma under a velvety sky. We’re all agreed that travelling’s jolly hard work and Sandra and I order a cigar.

Village en route to Royal Chundu Garden, Vic Falls Hotel Victoria Falls private game reserve Victoria Falls Mokoro Royal Chundu

Of course the other unmissable attraction is Victoria Falls, less than an hour away. The next day we cross into Zim, where our base for checking out this wonder is the Stanley and Livingstone Boutique Hotel. It’s got a stunning deck with a good 60 buffalo within shouting distance. A short drive away, the falls more than live up to the hype. (Note for bucket list: got to do a helicopter flip over the gorge!) Afterwards we pop into the Victoria Falls Hotel for a last G&T – a masterpiece of classical cool with a front lawn the size of Switzerland and a stunning view towards the river bridge.

Waiting at Livingstone Airport for our flight home, we’re back to hoopoe mode, comparing our haul of miniature carved mokoros, copper bangles and gleaming wooden hippos. Then I close my eyes and see the mighty river, smell the scents of the earth, hear the fish eagle’s haunting cry. I cannot wait to go back.

Getting there: SA Airlink and British Airways fly from Joburg to Livingstone. From Livingstone we took a road transfer to the Kazangula ferry, with boat transfers to the Zambezi Queen. From Livingstone Airport it’s a 50km road transfer to Royal Chundu.

This story was originally published in SA Country Life Magazine.